For every person waiting on a test result that determines your life’s quality, you are in a holding pattern. No control, no safety net. Yes there are prayers and good vibes all around but they don’t provide anything you truly need at this moment. I had 2 CT scans yesterday. I know for sure I have one area that needs radiation, however there could be more. Doctor appointment is Wednesday, just a few days away. Just a few days of waiting and stressing. I’ve tried to turn it off. I CANNOT DO IT! I don’t know why I’m in a hurry, it could be the answer that I have been praying for, no metastatic cancer or it could be there is……,, then what? I mean I know that I have to deal with it, right now I am just a scared human soul.
Chemo Diaries 
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