Chemo Diaries

3 down, 3 to go. It is being stuck, waiting to move forward. It’s knowing things are going to get better but still knowing what’s ahead. Yes it’s definitely being there in that middle ground, right now I am being that negative person, waiting, waiting to feel better. Waiting to move on but knowing that I have 3 more times to go through this. Waiting to not be “chemo” tired. I want to be able to explain this kind of fatigue without anyone else having to go through it. It’s chasing sleep for hours and finally getting to sleep and not being able to rest. Yes it could be worse and yes it’s going to get better. It’s this part of the journey, the story, that goes on. Every day has the same amount of time, yet these days seem to take longer. So I will be in this middle and be so very thankful when the middle of this particular journey turns into being closer to the end. While I’m waiting I’m grieving the loss of who I was before I was visited by this thief for the second time. In taking away who I was, cancer is shaping someone new. My dad told me how important it is to show up in life. That is taking on a whole new meaning for me now.